A Quarter Down

It has been three months and two weeks since my 29th birthday. When I began this blog, I was hoping for so much. To be a freelance writer. To publish my first book. To gain some fans of my writing. But, if I'm being honest, this has been a much harder journey than I originally thought.

Lets be clear, this is not a complaint or "woe is me" post. It is me being transparent and open about what I am feeling and have learned in the last three and a half months.

First, I would really like to thank those of you who have read my stories. It means the world to me to have that support. You keep me writing when I want to give up. These stories are for you as much as for me. And I promise I am continuing to learn and grow as much as I can as a writer.

Second, writing is hard. So much harder than I thought it would be. I popped out my first two stories in two months. But since Last Winter Days launched, I have been in a perpetual state of writers block. I'm stuck inside my head and worried about grammar and "rules" and I feel like I've forgotten how to write. I stay up too late to write because the days are filled with kids and house work I never seem to get done. So, by the time I sit down to write, my mind is exhausted and I can't put simple sentences together. I'm working on this.

Lastly, I am realizing that being an author is so much more than just writing. Especially when you self-publish. I am a writer, editor, spokesperson, biggest fan, and everything you would expect a traditional publishing company to be. I knew that I would not make millions or even thousands off my work, especially not right off the bat. But, having only "sold" 65 copies of Short Autumn Days (50 of those were free copies given away and 5 were actually bought by someone other than myself) and 1 copy of Last Winter Days has been extremely disappointing.

All of this to say I am going to continue writing, but I am also going to work on other goals to accomplish this year. Things that don't depend on others and also won't be a crushing blow if they don't work out.

Wish me luck, internet peeps. It has been a long and trying time, but I am determined to move on and finish what I started.

Photo by S O C I A L . C U T on Unsplash